Momentum and manners

It has been two weeks since I – and another 100 or so people – went to the Do Lectures in Wales. If you read my last post you will know that this was momentous for many a wrong reason. Mainly rain, fear of rain, fear of the cold – and more rain. But it was also momentous for being, and I kid you not, a life changing experience.

They warned me that it would be. I didn’t believe them. Well, I kind of did, but I’m very busy you know and wasn’t really sure I had the time or the inclination. Turns out I don’t really. But the thing is that now I really, really, want to. I want to have the time to make a change in my life, my children’s life, my husband’s and my friends’ lives. And to Dave’s big society. And this is where it gets tricky. Big change requires a big investment of time and energy. And when the jobs you take to pay the bills become just a tad too all-consuming, they start to nag at your moral code. The code that you weren’t really sure you had but, holy batman, you do now. In spades.

I’ve always been a rebel. Some would say without a cause. My mother for one. Oh and my teachers. My dad definitely. Grandma, rest her soul. My gran! Ah, yes, it is my 85 year old Geordie gran’s fault. She bred rebelliousness into my genes. (I’ll share that another day, it is a good one, I promise). So, I’m finally realizing a lifetime’s worth of rebel tendencies. They are real and they are acceptable. In fact, I’d go so far as to say they are vital. I’m ready to make a stand and do something I believe in and not just for the money, or the kudos, but because I really do believe that we need to think differently about the way we approach work. For my own credibility – and ultimately for that of my clients – if you aren’t with me, in every sense of the phrase, then you just aren’t, well, with me at all. I cannot pretend to agree with something that I fundamentally do not agree with. That’s no working relationship. It won’t work effectively for either party.

For the sake of my children and their future, I can no longer coast along in the comfort zone. I want them to know that I stood for something, not just making a fast wage. So morally, a stand must be made. I don’t mean to sound all Michael Jackson, but we need to make this a better world. For the kids, yes, but for adults, too. It’s not just about recycling, upcycling, reusing and saving energy. It is about being a decent person, a moral code, a belief set that accepts, rather than judges – and some basic manners and human kindness. I was really pleased to find others with this mindset at Do. (And I was pleased to realise this out about myself, too).

So, here we are at a junction. If the future really is bright, then I’m going to have to take off the shades, look it in the eye and grab it by the what? Ears? (Too violent) Collar? (Too predictable). Maybe no grabbing is required. Perhaps it is simply a matter of tough decisions. If I really want to stand for something I need to start with me. If your moral code doesn’t fit with mine, then I don’t want to try and fit with yours. Here are my new old fashioned rules of engagement, Missing Word style:

  1. Rudeness isn’t acceptable. I just don’t want to work with people who have no manners. Manners are important – it isn’t old fashioned, it’s just nicer that way.
  2. There is no interpretation to rudeness or manners. Kindly refer to point 1!
  3. Email manners are also important. Please do not start talking to me before saying hello, or introducing your topic/subject!
  4. We are all busy. I understand that we all make mistakes, or need to cancel. But in return offer the same expectations or flexibility. Please.
  5. Arrogance is not a good look. On the phone, without any body language, only exacerbates it.
  6. If you wouldn’t say it face to face, then digital media isn’t the place.

Thank you for reading. Please come back again.

 

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